Hello 2021

 Wow. Just wow. I randomly stumbled upon google apps and boom I’m here. I’ve never been good at writing out my feelings and thoughts.  But it feels nice to write (type) this out. So many things come to mind when I type. What’s wrong with me? I overthink. I stress for no reason. Anxiety/Depression and my ADD on top of that. I need a therapist. Can’t keep holding my feelings and thoughts to myself much longer. I keep having self doubts about myself. My future. Whats the purpose in life? I don’t have any friends really. I’m not as close to my family as I should be.  I just feel….. numb

i just want to diee!! 

Obamas Inauguration was an 'emergency'

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/jan/14/obamas-big-day-declared-emergency/

Bush's last day gave Federal Emergency (FEMA) aid to DC, to help pay for Obama's coronation. 

We have our priorities straight...

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I'm scared. This recession is starting to get to me.

My stepdad is getting laid off in 2 months. My mom is stressing out about this stuff at me. My mom and stepdad never really converse with me. It's sad. I'm starting to feel wide apart from people.

What major do I really want to do? I want to do business marketing. But my mom just tells me to change my major to something in healthcare due to this recession and said she wants me to have a "stable" job.

Lately I've been trying to talk to old friends that used to talk to me a lot. I realized that I separated myself from my good friends. Those friends that were there for you when you needed it. All I thought about was school and work. I'm a selfish person.

No wonder I've been feeling so left out from people. I'm doing my best to keep in touch with my friends. I really don't mean to ignore people. It's just I'm so oblivious to these things sometimes...

I feel like I'm going through Erikson's Psychosocial development on Identity vs. Role Confusion. Maybe this stuff I'm going through is all normal?

Weird day

I come into work and clock in. As I pass by the entrance to put something away, I hear "HOLY FUCK!" and I look outside and see Kristina with Patrick giggling. Patrick and his fag hag pretends to not notice me and just walk pass the store. Why else would she say "HOLY FUCK"

Ok.. Weird. He is the one that wanted to "k.i.t" yet he passes by me and not say anything? I guess he doesn't like me for no apparent reason. I don't understand why people just stop talking to each other for no reason?! If there is a reason why not just tell me what is wrong instead of not saying anything at all. Urgh seriously there is a reason why I only date older guys than me because I'm tired of high school type drama. Im over that scene. 

I hate guys. The subject of guys just makes me feel annoyed. -_-

Anyways, I go on my break and see an old high school friend, Kristiene working an some hair accessory kiosk.  We started talking, catching up. Then she brings up "so how's your love life? any girlfriends?!" 

o_0 Ok she either doesn't think I'm gay or is trying to figure out I'm gay.  But then... shes a little bit slow on things so I don't think she can tell that I'm gay. I had to change the subject and just tell her through a text message that I'm gay. 

I don't understand why I get all weird when someone asks if I'm gay. I'm not closeted or anything. I just felt awkward when she assumed I was straight or not assume I'm gay. I remember her and her sister totally hitting on me in high school.. haha 

Okies now i have to read Henry David Thoreau. I don't know if i spelled that right.. 

ps.- I miss our vid chats jim :) haha

Sexiness

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